My boy

I think of how tiny your hands and feet were when you were born. How fragile. You were in the NICU with needles stuck in you and you still managed to smile big at only 1 day old.

You were beautiful from the moment I saw you. I kept saying that you looked "familiar" but could not put my finger exactly on what I meant. You looked like me - only we didn't know that until much later.

As a little baby, you were so precious and good. "My dream come true boy." We tried so hard and waited so long to have you and there you were.

With each month that passed, your lashes grew longer, your eyes browner.

It makes my heart ache that you're going to be 3 so soon. I feel like your babyhood has raced by and I feel a little cheated. I cherished every moment, and listened to all the other moms/grandmothers who told me how fast it goes. I just miss your newness. Your babyness.

I miss the tiny triangle of tongue that used to show when you nursed. I miss the way your face looked for the first 2 years of your life with a pacifier stuck in the middle of it. I miss your waddling first walk. I miss all the words you said incorrectly but are now saying properly. I miss you being a tiny baby.

And at the same time, I marvel at how you've grown. You're such a big boy now. You're hard for me to carry up the stairs. Your feet stink. You have conversations with the dogs and with your sister. You have chosen a few people you let get close to you, and you're a better judge of character than I've ever been. You wrestle with your best buddy Ethan. You make up interesting games to play. You dance like John Travolta.

You have brought sheer joy into every day of my life since you're conception and I thank you from my deepest soul for being my son.