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Yesterday Laszlo was SO bad all day that I was broken by the evening. Of course these are always the nights that Robert is out later than usual. Laszlo didn't know this until late in the afternoon, so it was a coincidence.
He was screaming all day, hitting Lily (and then laughing when he made her cry), refusing time-outs, following me everywhere I went and whining whining whining. It's that smirk he gives when he knows he's got me, when I'm about to totally lose my shit, that really makes me wanna pummel him. I give myself time outs because I just have to get away from him when he's like this. Yesterday after my time-out, he said, "I need a new mommy. I need to go get a new mommy because my mommy's not talking to me." Usually he just says, "Can you take care of me Mommy?" when he's being really rotten, just so I can't decide whether to hug or strangle him.
Last night when Robert came home, he didn't come up to say hello to me, and I really needed to vent about Laszlo. Now he didn't know this, but I was furious that he didn't even ask me how I was or say hi. I ended up hysterically crying for about an hour because I felt like the worst mother in the world because of how little patience I had left by the end of the day. I was actually telling him to get away from me. I felt like a monster.
Robert was good, he calmed me down, rubbed my back, etc. He told me I did nothing wrong, that Laszlo certainly can be a complete challenging pain in the ass and that I was just fine. I went into his room and lied down with him while he was sleeping and cried some more, then I got over it and passed out.
This morning I apologized to Laszlo, I told him we were not good to each other yesterday but that today would be a better day.
When I took him to school, his teacher wanted to talk to me. She said he's doing better socially (which was our main concern for him) but that he has been throwing things in the classroom. He's not throwing them AT anyone, but he's throwing things across the entire room. This isn't something he does at home. The teacher said, "When I tell him in my stern voice that he cannot do that in the classroom, he smiles at me." Man, she knows my kid. She also told me he has a special place in her heart already. Something about my son, he can wrap himself in your heartstrings and then yank and torture them until you crave a padded room. I pity the people he dates, honestly. He's this manipulative at 4 1/2, I can't imagine what is going to happen when he's a teenager.
The SEIT (special education itinerant teacher) that is in the class for Laszlo twice a week for an hour wrote me in his book that he is also testing HER. I recommended to the regular teacher that they use a sticker chart to reward him for a no-throwing day. That's what works at home. The SEIT's on board with that too.
So...after I left the school, I was so happy. Am I crazy that I was relieved that he's being awful in school too? We've sort of collectively decided that Ella's arrival is probably causing this behavior, along with the fact that he's 4. He asks me questions about Ella all the time, and I answer him honestly. He knows all about the uterus, placenta, umbilical cord and he knows how she's gonna come out. He also knows that daddy gave mommy a special seed that mixed with my egg and that grew the baby from teeny little cells. He knows the seed is called a sperm and that it's different from flower seeds. I think he actually gets it, as much as anyone can at his age.
Anyway, that's it. I'm still laughing at myself for being thrilled that he's being a little fuck to his teachers too. Testing testing testing. And it makes me feel like less of a horrible mother, which is nice. I was going to add a fourth day in school each week for him, but I decided today that I'm going to wait until this throwing thing stops in class, then I'll enroll him for the extra day. I was initially going to wait until January, but I think the sooner, the better at this point.
He was screaming all day, hitting Lily (and then laughing when he made her cry), refusing time-outs, following me everywhere I went and whining whining whining. It's that smirk he gives when he knows he's got me, when I'm about to totally lose my shit, that really makes me wanna pummel him. I give myself time outs because I just have to get away from him when he's like this. Yesterday after my time-out, he said, "I need a new mommy. I need to go get a new mommy because my mommy's not talking to me." Usually he just says, "Can you take care of me Mommy?" when he's being really rotten, just so I can't decide whether to hug or strangle him.
Last night when Robert came home, he didn't come up to say hello to me, and I really needed to vent about Laszlo. Now he didn't know this, but I was furious that he didn't even ask me how I was or say hi. I ended up hysterically crying for about an hour because I felt like the worst mother in the world because of how little patience I had left by the end of the day. I was actually telling him to get away from me. I felt like a monster.
Robert was good, he calmed me down, rubbed my back, etc. He told me I did nothing wrong, that Laszlo certainly can be a complete challenging pain in the ass and that I was just fine. I went into his room and lied down with him while he was sleeping and cried some more, then I got over it and passed out.
This morning I apologized to Laszlo, I told him we were not good to each other yesterday but that today would be a better day.
When I took him to school, his teacher wanted to talk to me. She said he's doing better socially (which was our main concern for him) but that he has been throwing things in the classroom. He's not throwing them AT anyone, but he's throwing things across the entire room. This isn't something he does at home. The teacher said, "When I tell him in my stern voice that he cannot do that in the classroom, he smiles at me." Man, she knows my kid. She also told me he has a special place in her heart already. Something about my son, he can wrap himself in your heartstrings and then yank and torture them until you crave a padded room. I pity the people he dates, honestly. He's this manipulative at 4 1/2, I can't imagine what is going to happen when he's a teenager.
The SEIT (special education itinerant teacher) that is in the class for Laszlo twice a week for an hour wrote me in his book that he is also testing HER. I recommended to the regular teacher that they use a sticker chart to reward him for a no-throwing day. That's what works at home. The SEIT's on board with that too.
So...after I left the school, I was so happy. Am I crazy that I was relieved that he's being awful in school too? We've sort of collectively decided that Ella's arrival is probably causing this behavior, along with the fact that he's 4. He asks me questions about Ella all the time, and I answer him honestly. He knows all about the uterus, placenta, umbilical cord and he knows how she's gonna come out. He also knows that daddy gave mommy a special seed that mixed with my egg and that grew the baby from teeny little cells. He knows the seed is called a sperm and that it's different from flower seeds. I think he actually gets it, as much as anyone can at his age.
Anyway, that's it. I'm still laughing at myself for being thrilled that he's being a little fuck to his teachers too. Testing testing testing. And it makes me feel like less of a horrible mother, which is nice. I was going to add a fourth day in school each week for him, but I decided today that I'm going to wait until this throwing thing stops in class, then I'll enroll him for the extra day. I was initially going to wait until January, but I think the sooner, the better at this point.
