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lalicopaMy friend that I've mentioned several times, the Vicodin addict, just went to rehab today. It's not her first time, but it is her first time as an inpatient at a facility that plans on keeping her 30 days. She hasn't had 30 days clean in years. She called me this morning all crazy and then just called me from the place and she says she wants to come home. I told her this morning that this would happen. I told her that she's going to get there and be miserable and want to come home. I told her she's no better than all the other addicts there. But of course, she's complaining about having to wait on line to use the phone and saying that the showers are gross, and that she isn't going to deal with it. She complained that she has a black roommate who uses street drugs (as opposed to the elegant meds my friend's using) and she's unhappy about that too. I told her again, "You're no better."
She's angry that people are happy and laughing. She's angry that they won't let her talk to any men there. Which is SUCH a good thing because otherwise she'd end up having sex with half of them, and probably will end up having sex with at least a handful of women.
I'm just frustrated. She's SOOOO manipulative. I can just imagine her coming home within a week. I told her that nobody is going to have any patience for her if she does that...that this is ther best chance to get better.
ARGHHHH
Then there's Robert. He calls me from the train during the witching hour here every evening. Nine times out of ten it's to complain about his boss. The last few times, he starts out horrible, telling me he's miserable and telling me his job is in jeopardy. It's always when I need to be holding Ella, when Laszlo and Lily are at each other's throats. Always when I just want to watch TV and clean the kitchen and relax until he gets home. So he dumps it all on me. The last few times, he starts out so bad and then within ten minutes he's telling me that he thinks it will be ok. But that's all after he's put all the negative shit on me. And I have to try and process it all.
So tonight he did it again. He told me his boss told him to shape up or he's out of there. His biggest complaint about her is that she wants him to do research her way, and he doesn't feel it's as valuable. I keep telling him to do it her way and just do his job the way she wants him to. I don't know why he can't get this through his head. He insists that if he does it her way, the investments he's involved in won't make money for the fund and thus won't make a bonus for him. He said that if he didn't have to work for her anymore, he'd feel free. So I said, "Yeah, free from income." He said, "I already said that...did you just say that to put the pressure on me?"
About a second later, he said that he's optimistic it's all going to work out there.
I lost it. I said, "You know, this nightly dumping routine stresses me out and I have reactions and I'm going to say things when you do this. You call me up basically telling me your job is gone and then wait ten minutes to tell me you think it's going to work. So here I am with the kids going nuts and being exhausted from no sleep last night...and then you say these things that put me in panic mode...and I have to process all of it and try and make sense, and then react. And the idea of you not having a job is scary to me. What do you expect me to say when you tell me how free you'd feel?"
He hung up pretty soon after that. Five minutes later he called to apologize...which is rare. Usually he takes those five minutes to come up with an argument about how what I said was mean and not supportive, blah blah blah...and how I'm selfish and mistreat him. This is where it almost always goes. But I'm impressed with myself for immediately sticking up for myself and also impressed that he had the smarts to immediately apologize. He called back a second time and apologized again, then asked me to wait for him for dinner because he bought some fresh bread in the city.
Why am I surrounded by crazies????
She's angry that people are happy and laughing. She's angry that they won't let her talk to any men there. Which is SUCH a good thing because otherwise she'd end up having sex with half of them, and probably will end up having sex with at least a handful of women.
I'm just frustrated. She's SOOOO manipulative. I can just imagine her coming home within a week. I told her that nobody is going to have any patience for her if she does that...that this is ther best chance to get better.
ARGHHHH
Then there's Robert. He calls me from the train during the witching hour here every evening. Nine times out of ten it's to complain about his boss. The last few times, he starts out horrible, telling me he's miserable and telling me his job is in jeopardy. It's always when I need to be holding Ella, when Laszlo and Lily are at each other's throats. Always when I just want to watch TV and clean the kitchen and relax until he gets home. So he dumps it all on me. The last few times, he starts out so bad and then within ten minutes he's telling me that he thinks it will be ok. But that's all after he's put all the negative shit on me. And I have to try and process it all.
So tonight he did it again. He told me his boss told him to shape up or he's out of there. His biggest complaint about her is that she wants him to do research her way, and he doesn't feel it's as valuable. I keep telling him to do it her way and just do his job the way she wants him to. I don't know why he can't get this through his head. He insists that if he does it her way, the investments he's involved in won't make money for the fund and thus won't make a bonus for him. He said that if he didn't have to work for her anymore, he'd feel free. So I said, "Yeah, free from income." He said, "I already said that...did you just say that to put the pressure on me?"
About a second later, he said that he's optimistic it's all going to work out there.
I lost it. I said, "You know, this nightly dumping routine stresses me out and I have reactions and I'm going to say things when you do this. You call me up basically telling me your job is gone and then wait ten minutes to tell me you think it's going to work. So here I am with the kids going nuts and being exhausted from no sleep last night...and then you say these things that put me in panic mode...and I have to process all of it and try and make sense, and then react. And the idea of you not having a job is scary to me. What do you expect me to say when you tell me how free you'd feel?"
He hung up pretty soon after that. Five minutes later he called to apologize...which is rare. Usually he takes those five minutes to come up with an argument about how what I said was mean and not supportive, blah blah blah...and how I'm selfish and mistreat him. This is where it almost always goes. But I'm impressed with myself for immediately sticking up for myself and also impressed that he had the smarts to immediately apologize. He called back a second time and apologized again, then asked me to wait for him for dinner because he bought some fresh bread in the city.
Why am I surrounded by crazies????
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Date: 2007-03-15 11:48 pm (UTC)Is it at all possible for you detach from the nuttiness of your Vicodin friend? It sounds like she's in the right place now if only she'll stay there long enough to get through the withdrawal.
Miro doesn't tell me about the bad things going on at his work any more because he could see I was getting too stressed out and upset. Maybe Robert will start seeing it that way too.
But your other friend, I don't think she cares right now what her crazy is doing to you.
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Date: 2007-03-16 12:47 am (UTC)Just to give you an example of how she doesn't think of anyone but herself, she actually said, "Well you can take a drive out here one day and visit." Um, I have three kids, 1's a newborn...Helloooo?!@?!?
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Date: 2007-03-16 12:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-16 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-16 12:56 am (UTC)I never claimed to be sane. But I would totally hang with you and help out with those kids.
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Date: 2007-03-16 08:45 am (UTC)