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Spooked and Sad
Aug. 11th, 2004 06:51 pmI dated Bill from ages 19-23. We had been great friends for 4 years prior. I became very friendly with his sister Danielle during and remained friends with her for years after Bill and I broke up. We stopped being friends for some stupid reason while I was pregnant with Laszlo. I've sent her a few emails her and there over the years, but never heard back from her.
So, the last few days she's been very heavily on my mind. Like I can't stop thinking about her. I had a very vivid dream about her and her block (I used to babysit for a family on their block) last night. I called information for her number yesterday but they had nothing listed.
This afternoon I'm in the basement watching TV. I see that Gross Pointe Blank is on...I remember vividly when she saw that movie and remember talking about it. Then I see that Enemy of the State is on and she is a HUGE Will Smith fan. It was just too much. I called their old phone number to see who would answer, and sure enough, Danielle picked up the phone.
She said she was on the other line but would call me back. I figured she was just blowing me off again, but within 10 minutes she called back. We had some small talk, I told her that she's been haunting me for the last few days. Then I asked how her parents were doing. She said, "Have you talked to Bill?" I told her I hadn't spoken to him in years. Then she started crying. "My mother's really sick." So of course, I started crying. "She's got cancer, it's terminal." She went on to tell me that her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 months ago, had chemo and radiation and that they thought she was ok. Then 6 weeks ago she was rushed to the hospital because she was having difficulty breathing. The cancer had metastasized and she now has 2 huge tumors in her lungs, making it very difficult to breathe, even with oxygen. She's on heavy chemo now, but they said nothing's going to work...that it's just a matter of time.
I feel so terrible that this happened to them all.
And I feel so "touched" that I was moved to call her. Touched like from beyond or something out there. It's been over 3 years since I spoke to her and all of a sudden now I just had to call her. Hopefully I'll be able to offer her some support or to let her know that life can go on after you lose a parent. That she has time to make peace with it since her mom's still there, to say anything she hasn't been able to say. To let her know it's going to be terribly painful, but her life will go on and her mom will live in her and in everything she does from that point forward.
Damn.
So, the last few days she's been very heavily on my mind. Like I can't stop thinking about her. I had a very vivid dream about her and her block (I used to babysit for a family on their block) last night. I called information for her number yesterday but they had nothing listed.
This afternoon I'm in the basement watching TV. I see that Gross Pointe Blank is on...I remember vividly when she saw that movie and remember talking about it. Then I see that Enemy of the State is on and she is a HUGE Will Smith fan. It was just too much. I called their old phone number to see who would answer, and sure enough, Danielle picked up the phone.
She said she was on the other line but would call me back. I figured she was just blowing me off again, but within 10 minutes she called back. We had some small talk, I told her that she's been haunting me for the last few days. Then I asked how her parents were doing. She said, "Have you talked to Bill?" I told her I hadn't spoken to him in years. Then she started crying. "My mother's really sick." So of course, I started crying. "She's got cancer, it's terminal." She went on to tell me that her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 months ago, had chemo and radiation and that they thought she was ok. Then 6 weeks ago she was rushed to the hospital because she was having difficulty breathing. The cancer had metastasized and she now has 2 huge tumors in her lungs, making it very difficult to breathe, even with oxygen. She's on heavy chemo now, but they said nothing's going to work...that it's just a matter of time.
I feel so terrible that this happened to them all.
And I feel so "touched" that I was moved to call her. Touched like from beyond or something out there. It's been over 3 years since I spoke to her and all of a sudden now I just had to call her. Hopefully I'll be able to offer her some support or to let her know that life can go on after you lose a parent. That she has time to make peace with it since her mom's still there, to say anything she hasn't been able to say. To let her know it's going to be terribly painful, but her life will go on and her mom will live in her and in everything she does from that point forward.
Damn.
