ARGH! Sewing!

Ok, what the hell is "nap"? "Selvage"?

I'm going to attempt a pair of pants for Lily...but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to lose my mind first and throw the whole thing in the garbage.

What does this mean:

"Hem: Baste close to pressed edge. Edge Finish raw edge. Stitch in position, close to finished edge. Remove basting."

I swear, I'm not retarded, but why is it necessary for them to use a whole separate language?

I've been sewing for 10 years with a machine, but always on my own without formal patterns/instruction. Amazing I got this far without have any idea what any of this means.

Thanks!!!!

Laszlo Opposites

Robert got home from work and started asking Laszlo some opposites again...I hadn't asked him any today. He said, "What's the opposite of laughing?" Laszlo thought for a second and said, "Stop laughing." He's right. Crying isn't really the opposite of laughing, is it?

My lil genius boy. Hee hee.

Ok, back to total sewing frustration. Why the heck did I think this would be FUN and/or EASY?!?!?!