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My mother's nuts
Sep. 27th, 2006 09:29 amYesterday I was talking to my mother about how I don't want Robert's sisters to visit in the hospital when I have Ella. His sisters have been nothing but disgusting to us since we've had kids, but they think that coming to visit in the hospital is some grand gesture. And I don't. I would prefer that they don't come and only people that *I* like come. And that's not them.
So I was telling my mother this and I mentioned that I'm in the hospital (if things are the same as the last 2 times) for 2 nights. She seemed surprised. I explained that I was in for 2 nights the last times too.
This morning we were talking on the phone and she was kvetching and going on about the chiropractor I took her to see yesterday, who is my chiropractor and friend...apparently she didn't listen to anything I said yesterday about how that's not her regular office and how she has more hours in her regular office that's closer to my mother's house. She was going on and on and I kept saying, "But I told you yesterday that's not her office."
Then she said, "Listen, have you thought at all about who is going to take care of these children when you're in the hospital?" I said, "Um, no...but I assumed you'd come like when I had Lily." She said, "Well, I mean, do you expect me to move into your house for 2 days?" Huh? WTF??? I said, "What? Why would I expect that?" She said, "Well, you said yesterday that you'd be in the hospital for 2 nights and I just don't know if physically I can handle both of them for 2 nights." Again, HUH?
Me: Mom, I don't understand why you would think I want you here for 2 nights.
Her: Because you said yesterday you're going to be in the hospital for 2 nights.
Me: Yeah, but why would you think that means YOU have to be HERE for 2 nights?
Her: Um, ok...so who is going to watch the kids for those 2 days?
Me: Well, when I'm in LABOR?
Her: Yeah, I guess
Me: Well, you.
Her: But I can't physically handle being in your house for 2 days with the kids. Look, I know this is upsetting you, but it's something I'm worried about.
Me: It's not upsetting me, it just makes no sense.
Her: So who is going to watch the kids then?
Me: Uh, Robert?
Her: He can handle them at night?
Me: Uh...yeah. He's their father. (banging head against wall)
Her: Ooooo-kayyyyy. I just didn't know if you wanted to get someone else in there because I'm worried about it.
OY FUCKING VEY. This reminds me of the time when I was pregnant with Laszlo. She and I hadn't been speaking because she blurted out to strangers that I was pregnant when it was a big secret - and MY secret to tell. She denies this to this day. Anyway...we hadn't spoken for about a month and one day we finally started patching things up. I was on eggshells. I was 30 years old. We were in the car for less than 5 minutes and my mother asked about the prenatal testing we were planning on having. I told her about the AFP and other blood tests, the sonograms, etc. She said, "You're not going to have an amnio?" I told her I wasn't. So she went on about how her friend's daughter in law was my age and had a baby with Downs Syndrome and how the woman now says everyone should have an amnio regardless of age. I got teary eyed. She said how this was concerning HER because SHE was worried about her grandchild. Ok, full blown tears.
I told her how hard I was trying to get along with her and how blown away I was by her that she hit me with that the first time we were together and not even 5 minutes into our day. Again, she said how she was worried. "So talk to your friends about it. Call a doctor. Don't dump this on me." Ack.
Granted, making me nervous about the health of my unborn child is way worse than annoying me about her inconvenience when I'm in the hospital, but COME ON. Must EVERYTHING be about you? GAWD.
All of that said, we have been getting along well lately. My kids adore her and she adores them and they have a nice relationship. It's just times like these that make me understand why I'm so screwy in some ways.
So I was telling my mother this and I mentioned that I'm in the hospital (if things are the same as the last 2 times) for 2 nights. She seemed surprised. I explained that I was in for 2 nights the last times too.
This morning we were talking on the phone and she was kvetching and going on about the chiropractor I took her to see yesterday, who is my chiropractor and friend...apparently she didn't listen to anything I said yesterday about how that's not her regular office and how she has more hours in her regular office that's closer to my mother's house. She was going on and on and I kept saying, "But I told you yesterday that's not her office."
Then she said, "Listen, have you thought at all about who is going to take care of these children when you're in the hospital?" I said, "Um, no...but I assumed you'd come like when I had Lily." She said, "Well, I mean, do you expect me to move into your house for 2 days?" Huh? WTF??? I said, "What? Why would I expect that?" She said, "Well, you said yesterday that you'd be in the hospital for 2 nights and I just don't know if physically I can handle both of them for 2 nights." Again, HUH?
Me: Mom, I don't understand why you would think I want you here for 2 nights.
Her: Because you said yesterday you're going to be in the hospital for 2 nights.
Me: Yeah, but why would you think that means YOU have to be HERE for 2 nights?
Her: Um, ok...so who is going to watch the kids for those 2 days?
Me: Well, when I'm in LABOR?
Her: Yeah, I guess
Me: Well, you.
Her: But I can't physically handle being in your house for 2 days with the kids. Look, I know this is upsetting you, but it's something I'm worried about.
Me: It's not upsetting me, it just makes no sense.
Her: So who is going to watch the kids then?
Me: Uh, Robert?
Her: He can handle them at night?
Me: Uh...yeah. He's their father. (banging head against wall)
Her: Ooooo-kayyyyy. I just didn't know if you wanted to get someone else in there because I'm worried about it.
OY FUCKING VEY. This reminds me of the time when I was pregnant with Laszlo. She and I hadn't been speaking because she blurted out to strangers that I was pregnant when it was a big secret - and MY secret to tell. She denies this to this day. Anyway...we hadn't spoken for about a month and one day we finally started patching things up. I was on eggshells. I was 30 years old. We were in the car for less than 5 minutes and my mother asked about the prenatal testing we were planning on having. I told her about the AFP and other blood tests, the sonograms, etc. She said, "You're not going to have an amnio?" I told her I wasn't. So she went on about how her friend's daughter in law was my age and had a baby with Downs Syndrome and how the woman now says everyone should have an amnio regardless of age. I got teary eyed. She said how this was concerning HER because SHE was worried about her grandchild. Ok, full blown tears.
I told her how hard I was trying to get along with her and how blown away I was by her that she hit me with that the first time we were together and not even 5 minutes into our day. Again, she said how she was worried. "So talk to your friends about it. Call a doctor. Don't dump this on me." Ack.
Granted, making me nervous about the health of my unborn child is way worse than annoying me about her inconvenience when I'm in the hospital, but COME ON. Must EVERYTHING be about you? GAWD.
All of that said, we have been getting along well lately. My kids adore her and she adores them and they have a nice relationship. It's just times like these that make me understand why I'm so screwy in some ways.
