lalicopa | meme

1. First Name: Jen

2. Age: 37

3. Location: Merrick, NY

4. Occupation: Momma, tie dyer extraordinaire

5. Partner: Robert, married 9 years. We got married a year, a month and a day after we met by way of a personal ad I placed online.

6. Kids: Laszlo Cooper - 6, Lily Parker - 4 and Ella Violet - 17 months.

7. Brothers/Sisters: I have 2 brothers; Josh is 12 years older than me and lives in NYC with his wife Janet and daughter Layne. I'm so close to Janet I don't even feel right referring to her as "his wife" it's more like they are both my siblings. Josh and I were always best friends; when I was born I was a fun toy, when I was a kid, I was an adoring fan, and when I grew up a bit I was able to cart his legally blind ass from concert to concert and rock on with him. We're still very close, but he's got Janet to do all the carting. Layne and my kids adore each other. They're renting a house near us for the summer and we're all super psyched. We see them about twice a month otherwise. I'm always sad when they leave to go home.

Seth is 9 years older than me and lives in California after his old job relocated him 12 years ago (holy shit, has it been that long?!?!) He loves it out there. He is married to Bonnie, who makes any SAHM feel inadequate. She's *the* PTA mom, she now works at the school, she never has laundry buildup, she's insanely organized, and she's super skinny. And she cooks every night. And she's close to 50 and looks better than me. They have a son Michael who is 15 and a genius and a daughter Leah who's almost 12 and gorgeous. Since Seth started his new job a bit over a year ago, I have very little contact with him because they don't allow him to have AIM on his computer and that's how we communicated. Lots of history here, way too much for a meme. We're all on good terms, which is nice, although I rarely get to see or speak to any of them.

8. Pets: Kibbles, the almost 11 year old shih tzu. She's the cutest and best dog. I think she's still sad about her sister's passing in November (I know I am). We have the lovebird Schmecky who is 7-ish and a miserable creature. She goes for blood whenever flesh is within reach. The frogs are Sapo and Verde. The fish is Robbie. The gerbils are Gerby and Toffee.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
* going to the gym regularly
* trying to keep the house in some semblance of order
* spending time with the chil'ren and getting them where they need to be and keeping them clean and fed and feeling good about themselves.

10) Where and for what did you go to school for?:
I went to George Washington University for 2.5 years then decided it was wise to transfer mid-junior year because I was miserable. I still miss DC terribly. I had never been away from home before and I learned tremendous independence when I was there. I transferred to a school close to home and commuted, also had a boyfriend who lived at home, so that was a huge factor. My parents hated him. I got my BA in psychology from Hofstra University (so my undergrad degree took 5 years). I was out of school for a few years working in a pharmacy that I worked in since freshman year of high school. I was also a live-out nanny. Then I decided to go to school for teaching. I went to Queens College and got half of my masters degree in early childhood education before I realized that I'm not cut out for teaching. I met Robert about this time, and his friend hooked me up with a job working for him as an assistant for his PR company. I worked for Charles for 6 months hating him like poison and finally quitting to start my own PR thing - since I learned a lot from working there. This was good timing because it was when the internet bubble was expanding and I represented tech companies. I was making a ton of money and working very little...it was super cool. Then the bubble started to burst and then I got pregnant with Laszlo after years of trying, then 9/11...so I haven't officially "worked" since. Then I started making stuff. :-)

11) Parents?
My mom Carole is 71 years old, but you'd never know it. She's stocky and tough and has been mistaken for a man in drag. We've had some horrible things in our sordid history, but I have to say gratefully that we've been getting along really well for quite a while now. She's a huge part of my kids' lives. When Laszlo draws a picture of our immediate family, he always includes Gramma. I've learned over the years to just let lotsa stuff go without getting crazy about it...motherhood has mellowed me to my mother's issues I guess. She's pretty crazy...my brother says there are 2 classes of my mom's friends, "friend" and "dead to me" - which is frighteningly accurate.

My dad Leonard died suddenly on October 25, 1995, 9 days after I got engaged to my first husband. He was 59 years old. My dad was a truly great man and I often see his smiling eyes on Laszlo's face. I knew he was going to die that day. I stopped at my parents' house on my way to work to show my mom a new haircut and I saw her hand through the window hanging up the phone and that sent a chill through me. I don't feel like writing it all down again, but we drove to meet my dad and there was police activity about an eighth of a mile up the highway. I said, "That's Daddy." My mom thought I was nuts. Then they came to get us and we followed the ambulance to the hospital where they let us know he was dead. My brother came from the city. My other brother (Seth) had just arrived in Hong Kong for what was supposed to be a 3 month (I think) stint. I remember not being able to wait for him to get home...I wanted us to be as complete as possible. It was so many years ago, but I still miss him every day and think about him all the time. It absolutely kills me that he never met Robert or my kids, that he never saw the kind of woman I've become. At the same time, I believe in my core that he has sent Robert to me and that he knew my kids before they got here. One of the strange things? Robert ended up playing tennis with my father's tennis partner. Totally random.

12) Who are some of your closest friends?:
I have a handful of people I consider really good friends. I hate when a grown woman refers to someone as her "best friend" - it makes me want to smack them. Here's a list of the closest ones...in no particular order:

Lisa - I met her when I was 11 and she moved around the corner. I remember we were trick or treating and I saw her putting her clothes away in this huge closet and all I wanted was to meet her. My mom and I went by there the following week with a bottle of wine. We've been great friends ever since. She has a wonderful husband and a gorgeous daughter who is 5.

Gabi - I met Gabi in first grade when I moved and switched schools. She loved me because she wasn't the new kid anymore (she had moved from NYC). Her dad was pretty absent and then they got divorced, so it was always me and Gabi and her mom. Her mom ended up working for my dad and then we were all social together. It was a little strange, but it was just the norm. Gabi and her mom were at all our family functions, holidays, etc. Gabi still tells me that her holiday memories are all of being in my old house. She's now married to a guy I don't care for, and she has 2 great daughters Sadie and Stella.

Sheryl - I met Sheryl when Laszlo was about a year and a half. She moved here from Brooklyn and her son and Laszlo were in the same Gymboree class. We became good friends when we each had problems with old friends. We were both pregnant with our second kids at the same time and whenever we'd go near each other, the girls would start kicking like crazy. We said they were destined to be best friends. We were right. Lexi and Lily are the best of friends. Lexi's only 2 months older, but she's infinitely more mature than Lily is. Like Lexi could babysit for Lily - no joke.

Fran - I met Fran when Lily was teeny also at Gymboree. Fran and I weren't close at first, but she had some horrible things happen to her and I was there for her when other people in her life who should have been, weren't. Lily and her daughter Emma are good friends too and play really cute together. Fran is a free spirit and keeps me laughing.

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Also:

I am hoping: I can eventually have a full night's sleep again and not feel sleepy all day long.

I wish: my dad was still alive, that my brother still lived in NY, that some things were the way they used to be.

I love: my kids, my hubby (yeah, I do), my mom, family, chocolate, sushi, ice cream, baked ziti, Coke Zero, massages, bubble baths...ok, I'll stop.

I need: to prioritize and get my shit together instead of taking time to do memes like this!